iloveumydude: Mom, Dad, Can I Have a Smartphone?".....7 Things to Do When You Get Your Tween or Teen a Mobile Device

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From: "K.G. GOPALAKRISHNAN" <kgopalakrishnan52@yahoo.in>
Date: Aug 26, 2013 8:02 PM
Subject: [Yaadein_Meri] "Mom, Dad, Can I Have a Smartphone?".....7 Things to Do When You Get Your Tween or Teen a Mobile Device
To: "yaadein_meri@yahoogroups.com" <yaadein_meri@yahoogroups.com>

7 Things to Do When You Get Your Tween or Teen a Mobile Device

"Mom, Dad, Can I Have a Smartphone?"

If you have a school-age child and you haven't heard that question yet, then be prepared because it's coming. It used to be that we could wait until our kids were in high school before the issue of a mobile phone came up but not anymore. Now, it's not uncommon for 11-year-olds or even younger kids to be walking around with an iPhone, iPod Touch or another state-of-the-art smartphone.

So, you've decided to get your kid a mobile phone. You shopped around for devices and service plans, charged the phone, and now your son or daughter is looking at it with very hungry eyes.

But before you hand over the phone, there are a few things you can – and should – do to boost the chances that you and your kid will have a safe and smooth experience:

Set the phone up for safety. Set a password for the phone – this is critical, as it is your first line of defending your kid's personal information from snoopers and phone thieves. Make sure you keep track of the password. In addition, set the phone to automatically lock after three minutes. On most phones it's easy to set the password and lock settings. If you have an iPhone, click "Settings" > "General" and scroll down to "Passcode". If you have an Android, click "Settings" –> "Security".

Add important people to the contact list. Add parents, grandparents, sitters, emergency contacts, the school and any other parties your kid might need to call regularly into the phone's contact list.

Educate yourself on the school rules. Visit your kid's school or school district website and pull up your school's phone policy. Incorporate the school guidelines into your house rules.

Hold a family meeting. Discuss the most important terms of agreement for the new smartphone or tablet: your family's terms of agreement! The best time to tackle this is while the device is still in the box, before they're off downloading the latest version of Draw This or Angry Birds. We've included a full agenda of the topics this meeting should cover in the next section of this guide.

Download a security app to protect your investment. An ounce of protection is worth a pound of cure. As you're setting up your child's phone (or as your teen is setting up their device), be sure to download a security app like Lookout, so they'll be automatically protected from downloading bad apps and visiting unsafe websites that can ruin the phone or compromise personal data and privacy. Lookout will also help you remotely locate your kid's device if it's lost or stolen, or, you can save the day and make the phone sound a loud Scream to help find it if it's lost in a nearby couch cushion.

Post the rules in plain sight and consider drafting an agreement. Once you've set the ground rules and covered them at your family meeting, make sure the rules for your kid's phone usage are crystal clear and avoid later arguments by creating and signing an agreement. Then, post a hard copy of the phone rules in a conspicuous place in your kid's room or a common family area. For your convenience, we've also included a printable Phone Rules Agreement in this Guide – just fill in the blanks, print, sign and post (or create your own)!

Drill down on safe downloads. As you and your kid are downloading the first apps to the phone, you should ask them to always run apps they want to download by you for your approval. You can ensure that the app is made by a reputable developer. Avoid apps with low-star reviews or apps from sources that you've never heard of. Teach them to only download apps from trusted sources, like the official Apple Store and Google Play.

The Smartphone Family Meeting & What to Discuss

Giving your child their first mobile phone is a real milestone – they're growing up! As such, it presents a rich opportunity for you to collaborate with them in creating and communicating the guidelines and boundaries that keep them and their devices safe, while also eliminating confusion about what you consider acceptable – and unacceptable – phone behavior.

Here's a detailed guideline for what to discuss during your family meeting about your kid's first (or second or fifth!) phone or other mobile device:

Establish a trusting relationship. Start out your meeting by laying the groundwork for a positive phone and relationship experience – open the meeting by telling your kid you trust them with their phone, but with a new phone comes responsibility and certain parameters. Not only is the phone a financial investment, it gives them access to a wealth of information. Teaching your kid how to use it appropriately is the first step.

Cover the rules. In advance of the meeting, set up a list of the rules you believe are important to govern your kid's phone usage – and put them in writing, in language your kid can understand. The bulk of the family meeting can be devoted to reviewing and discussing the rules and doing any fine-tuning that needs to happen as a result of the conversation, so that everyone – parents and kid(s) included – leaves the meeting with a clear understanding of the rules and the structure that will be put in place for enforcing them, including any system for warnings and consequences that your kid should be aware of in advance. You may even consider asking your kid to come up with rules they think are important. You'd be surprised; sometimes they will be stricter than you!

Curb over-sharing online. Over-sharing information on social sites and other websites can lead to embarrassment, identity theft, privacy problems, bullying and more. Help your kid understand what is okay and not okay to share through texts or post online. For example, if your kid joins Facebook, you may consider requiring them to not include information about their school, birth year or phone number and other personal information. Also, real-life examples of when over-sharing caused harm helps put things in context for your kid (there's no shortage of examples in the news. Do a quick search!