From: "Irshad Mahmood" <noor.e.islaam@gmail.com>
Date: Oct 25, 2013 5:36 AM
Subject: █▓▒░(°TaNoLi°)░▒▓█ Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Lecture 044-D : Marriage Counseling Lecture 4 of 9 : Anxiety
To: <MSHOAIBTANOLI@googlegroups.com>
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
Marriage Counseling Lecture 4 of 9
by Irshad Mahmood - Global Auliyaa (PRESIDENT), Siraat-al-Mustaqeem Dawah Centre
Anxiety (Stress or Tension) hurts you, specially from the loved ones:
Around 90% of what we think is a big issue, might not be an issue at all.
Mind Your Actions to save your family and friends:
Your Language or Tone may hurt others. Even in Games you need to be very careful. Someone may like dangerous rides, BUT other may get stroke or heart attack, so you need to think how others may feel and you need to HELP them instead of TORTURE them.
A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his / her Tongue and Hands..... (Sahih Bukhari - Vol-1, Book-2, Belief, Hadeeth-009). So Encourage and do NOTDiscourage and apply the logics of Psychology.
On the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their feet will bear witness against them as to their actions. (Al_Quraan_024:024)
Anxiety is also a Weapon to Hurt or kill some one, even without knowing it, since it may cause dangerous diseases like blood pressure, sugar, heart attack etc. Although in this world it may be hard to prove it, BUT on the Day of Judgment Allah will sure ask about this as well. So change your attitude before it gets too late.
Anxiety occurs when both the parties disagree on some matters. It hurts you badly, if you get it from your loved ones, for others you normally don't care. Generally we do the Great Mistake that "I am Right". You must avoid the Great Mistake that "I am Right and all others are wrong", even though you are a scholar or an elder, after all you are still a human being.
Anxiety may also occur if any member of the family does not accept the spouses of their relatives causing unbalance relationship, which is against the teaching of Quraan.
Anxiety may also occur if spouse does not accept any member of spouse's family and try to break the relationship with spouse's family BUT not with his/her own family by doing double standards. Remember these relationships are made by Allah, so try to remember them practically for the love of Allah only.
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]. (Al_Quraan_0 30:021)
Anxiety may also occur when others ask too many trivial questions. (e.g. not allowing to visit the patient in the hospital, which is actually due to the hospital's rule and not the patient's family rule.) It is not the time for piling questions on top of questions; instead it is the time to help sincerely. Many people, instead of helping the patient or those who are helping patient, open their BIG mouths and cause others to be anxious. HOWEVER when the time comes for them to help the patient and their family, they run away. They must help the patient and his/her family with whatever they can. There is nothing more urgent than helping the patient and his/her relatives. Imagine if you are in the same position, then what would you feel like?
Anxiety may also occur when one is living in a CASTLE-like home, along with amazing facilities, BUT his own close relatives may be living in great poverty, and do not get help from them. Do not expect from people like them and trust Allah, since this might be their test and on the Day of Judgment they might be questioned on this as well.
Anxiety may also occur when kids are not listening their parents or spouses not listening each other etc.
Anxiety may aslo occur if you did not teach your kids in the light of Quraan and Sunnah, in early ages and later you expect them to.
Anxiety may also occur if one of the spouses or family members starts practicing Islaam at later stage and expects others to follow immidiately.
Anxiety may also occur if one is fell into un-bearable loans over the neck. So always avoid loans to keep yourself stress free.
And Allah has made some of you excel others in the means of subsistence, so those who are made to excel do not give away their sustenance to those whom their right hands possess so that they should be equal therein; is it then the favor of Allah which they deny? (Al_Quraan_016.071)
And do not stretch your eyes after that with which We have provided different classes of them, (of) the splendor of this world's life, that We may thereby try (test) them; and the sustenance (given) by your Lord is better and more abiding. (Al_Quraan_020.131)
If Allah has given you strength to help, you must help without expecting others to do it. Do your part, since Allah will ask you about your duty and not the duty of others. It will be nice if people get organized to help each other.
Allah has very clearly mentioned in the Quraan to AVOID Anxiety.
There is NO Compulsion in Religion..... (Al_Quraan_002:256)
Also it is not only true for the disbelievers, BUT also for the different sects that your believe is with you and my believe is with me.
"To you is your religion, and to me is my religion." (Al_Quraan_109:006)
Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance. (Al_Quraan_016.125)
Mind Your Language to save your family and friends:
Your Language or Tone may hurt others. Even in Games you need to be very careful. Some one may like dangerous rides, BUT other may get stroke or heart attack, so you need to think how other may feel and you need to HELP them instead of TORTURE them.
A Muslim is the one who avoids harming Muslims with his / her Tongue and Hands..... (Sahih Bukhari - Vol-1, Book-2, Belief, Hadeeth-009). So Encourage and do NOTDiscourage and apply the logics of Psychology.
On the Day when their tongues, their hands, and their feet will bear witness against them as to their actions. (Al_Quraan_024:024)
Allah does NOT love the public utterance of hurtful speech (language) unless (it be) by one to whom injustice has been done; and Allah is Hearing, Knowing. (Al_Quraan_004.148)
Also Remember that both Musaa (Peace Be Upon Him) and Khizr (Peace Be Upon Him) were prophets and obeyed Allah BUT disagreed on some of their mission. So we might differ in our missions to help the world, BUT our goal to obey Allah is same. You might be obeying Allah, according to what you understand and I am also obeying Allah according to what you understand. It is time to UNITE not DIVIDE.
Muslim Wives MUST Obey her husband (YES HUSBAND) if it is according to Islaamic Laws: Only one KING in one country (or house):
…So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded…(Al_Quraan_004.034)
O you who believe! obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority (Leader) from among you; then if you quarrel about anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you believe in Allah and the last day; this is better and very good in the end. (Al_Quraan_004.059)
And do not stretch your eyes after that with which We have provided different classes of them, (of) the splendor of this world's life, that We may thereby try them; and the sustenance (given) by your Lord is better and more abiding. (Al_Quraan_020.131)
Parents may suffer from anxiety (Stress or Tension) if you try to separate them:
Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in their life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. (Al_Quraan_017.023)
Parents get confused about whom to live with if they have more than one kids. Sometimes their kids help them and try to get rewards; one kid takes the father while other kid takes the mother, separating their parents while thinking they are doing good. Don't pressure your parents; leave them where they want to live, unless one has visibly better arrangements for them. The following ayaat is true for them as well.
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]. (Al_Quraan_0 30:021)
And one of His signs is that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect. (Al_Quraan_030.021)
You may get anxiety (Stress or Tension) if you don't give true Islaamic Education to your kids:
It is your responsibility to help your kids learn True Islaamic Education along with other Professional Education. For all of these you first need to practice True Islaamic Teaching in the light of the Quraan and Authentic Sunnah. Don't spoon feed each and every thing; instead provide the right facilities to your kids to learn on their own, otherwise they may stop eating and waiting for you to feed each and every spoon of food etc. which may become life long pain for you. Never forget to Encourage them for their good work. Also the Modern World is constantly changing due to rapid developments in information technology and Husband and Wife both may need to work, so train your kids (boys as well as girls) to match with all future needs including housework, cooking, cleaning etc. Help them get organized.
O ye who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is Men and Stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who flinch not (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do (precisely) what they are commanded. (Al_Quraan_066.006)
Global Family:
The World is shrinking and becoming a Global Family. I found this as a KEY point in cooling down the mind of others, so always remember and keep reminding, that we are thechildren of Adam and Eve and we are Cousin Brothers and Cousin Sisters and we are a Global Family.
None argue concerning the revelations (Ayaat) of Allah but those who disbelieve... (Al_Quraan_040.004)
Remember: Forgiveness is the true key to release Anxiety (Stress or Tension).
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Quraan is Free from any Error or Contradictions.
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Irshad Mahmood
Global Auliyaa (PRESIDENT), Siraat - al - Mustaqeem Dawah Centre (Global-Right-Path)
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Author/Compiler of following major books & booklets
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Author of Introduction to Global Economic Solution
Author of Marriage Counseling
Author of Organizing Hajj & Umrah
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Author of Siraat-al-Mustaqeem
Compiler of Islaamic Sharia Law
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Quraanic Globalization
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Spiritual Doctors are Treating Spiritual Patients, so Please be Patience.
Quraan is a Spiritual Light (Crystal Clear GUIDANCE) and to see (understand) a Spiritual Light (Crystal Clear GUIDANCE), you don't need any other Light (GUIDANCE).
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said, the Best of Best among you are those, who Learns and Teaches the Quraan. (Really Authentic Hadeeth, Sahee Bukhari_Vol_6_Book_61_Hadith_545)
Change yourself according to the Quraan, NOT reverse.
Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) never ever foretold, (Ref. Al_Quraan_005.090, 006.050, 007.188, 031.034, 033.063, 034.014).
Also, Prophet Muhammad (Peace-Be-Upon-Him) was walking and talking Quraan, (Ref. Al_Quraan_005.067, 033.021, 034.028).
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پاکستان کسی بھی پاکستانی کے لئے اللہ کی سب سے بڑی نعمتوں میں سے ایک ہے. آج ہم جو بھی ہے یہ سب اس وجہ پاکستان کی ہے ، دوسری صورت میں ، ہم کچھ بھی نہیں ہوتا. براہ مہربانی پاکستان کے لئے مخلص ہو.
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